Caregivers of the World: Flowers for You
This post is a unique one, perhaps one of the first poems we have featured by a caregiver. There are many ways to show solidarity, and one may be to read, reflect and share.
That Day When It All Changed
Something died that day,
when we came back from a holiday.
I sensed it,
but didn’t fully comprehend.
What happened, why,
questions ran around in my head
in circles,
like goldfish swimming giddily in a bowl.
The delirium of a loved one,
and the devastation of a family,
it all happened at once.
and everything changed in a heartbeat.
Was that smoke curling out of a window?
No,
it was the ashes of a future
that now never would be.
So many casualties-
No ruler could measure
the loss in the width of my smile.
No medicine was there
to bring back
the lost bloom
to my mother’s cheeks.
No cure for the sorrow
that took up
permanent residence in my father’s eyes.
Ah, the devastation that some illnesses bring
Hard to say,
how many lives can lose their ability
to evermore sing.
In how many homes.
it’s always winter
never spring…
Standing amidst the debris
of my once secure life,
I look helplessly around.
‘I can’t handle this’, is my first thought,
but then,
I spot an ant on the ground,
scurrying around,
and something within me shifts once more.
Do I have less determination than an ant,
I now wonder,
Just watch it-
bent by a careless foot,
but not broken,
it moves around,
doing whatever it is that ants do.
It’s that single minded focus,
that leaves a deep impression.
Nothing noticeable, leave alone glamorous
about these tiny creatures,
Yet, the strength and resilience they display
is a lesson we would do well to learn
without further delay,
And so I take a deep breath
and begin,
the process of building a life again…
This, in a nutshell, is a caregiver’s life. — Sujata Mathur
This, in a nutshell, is a caregiver’s life.
From shock and grief, a sense of being overwhelmed, to determination and resilience as you try and put your life back together again.
The first happens in a flash, the second part of finding your feet again can and usually does take years. It’s an ongoing process — years of struggle, and constant battles. So much happens between the first verse and the second.
There’s a lot of grief and pain, certainly, but one learns a lot too.
And as everyone who’s been there knows, it’s very personal and not easy to share.
But this is something so important and there are so many battles being fought, that a point comes when you feel you have to reach out and talk to others about it. So that we can all help each other.
But it’s really important to have a safe space to do that in. And I think I have found one here.
And I am beginning the process of sharing with the above — my verses and my feelings.
About the writer: Sujata Mathur is a caregiver and former journalist.
