Trauma Nation: A New Book
Trauma is a silent and an invisible epidemic. It hides in plain sight, embedding itself in our bodies, families, and communities—manifesting as anxiety, depression, physical illnesses, addictions, self doubt, and more. In Trauma Nation, mental health researcher and professor Dr Nishtha Lamba, traces the origins and trajectories of trauma through events that impact our lives—toxic relationships, childhood wounds, accidents, and historical tragedies.
As she shares, without cultural context, mental health challenges are half-told stories. And so, in India, we do need our own narrative—we cannot rely on a Western lens alone. In this book, deeply personal stories of survivors hold up a mirror to a society that has long looked away. In a significant departure from trauma being viewed as an individual problem, Lamba posits that it is a social condition. Using science, storytelling, and personal anecdotes, she shows how trauma is handed down through generations like a cursed heirloom and how we might build psychologically safer societies.
About the excerpt: In narrative non-fiction, the book carries survivors’ stories blending it with scientific knowledge about human behaviour. Here, author Dr Nishtha Lamba explores the narrative of Kavita*, who suffered emotional and physical abuse in her marriage for about 20 years. It goes into the shadowy corners of difficult decision making of staying or leaving a turbulent relationship. (*Name has been changed)
Excerpt from Trauma Nation Chapter 4: Love As affliction
Spousal violence is a major public health concern. In India, one in three women experiences physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner at least once in her lifetime, yet nearly 70 per cent of these women do not seek help. These findings are based on data collected from approximately eight lakh respondents across fourteen states, in both urban and rural regions of the country. Such violence typically develops in secrecy and often remains hidden from the outside world for years. Research indicates that nearly 96 per cent of spousal violence begins within the first five years of marriage, long before it is named, reported, or addressed. Not only has spousal violence increased in most states, a large proportion of men also experience domestic violence. Indian law formally recognizes physical, emotional, sexual, verbal, and economic abuse within both married and unmarried relationships. However, emotional abuse remains particularly difficult to quantify, making it difficult for legal systems to define it.
I spoke to multiple people to understand how abuse slowly took hold in their relationships, before they found ways to resolve or come out of them. Kavita, Sanchi, and Kabir each offered a unique perspective into how their marriages left them depleted. Here I paint a picture of an abusive relationship that can take the shape of trauma. The two women, in particular, represent the varying social classes of the two different Indias we live in today. Kavita and Sanchi come from different walks and stages of life. At the time of our meeting, Kavita was in her late fifties, with two children who were in their mid-twenties. She had lived through bouts of violence for about thirty years in her marriage before parting ways. Sanchi, on the other hand, was in her late twenties and had three young children. She worked as a domestic helper. She had been struggling with domestic abuse for two years when we met.
In the first twenty minutes of the interview with Kavita, she struck me as kind-hearted and a bit radical. There was an air of urgency in the way she spoke, as if she was making up for years lost in a turbulent marriage. Kavita grew up in a learned, middle-class, and patriarchal household. I see it as a combination of being well informed, aspirational, and yet constrained. This is the complex mix of identity which is familiar to many urban women in the country. At the time of our interview, Kavita had been separated from her husband for a decade. The legal proceedings on the grounds of domestic violence were still ongoing and had not reached a conclusion.
Kavita’s childhood is relevant to how she lived a somewhat contradictory life later as a married woman, which I disentangle. She grew up in a joint family, where women were expected to take up household duties early on. The family, however, was ahead of its time; most of them were avid readers, but like some progressive households, ‘freedom’ came with terms and conditions. Be ambitious but less than the men in the house. Be independent, as long as strict protocols are followed. Unlike her elder sisters, she liked studying, and went on to study engineering, and questioned why she was treated differently from her brothers. Because she had to rebel for her choices, she built a defiant personality around the house. She faced wrath each time she questioned the status quo. Kavita said to me, ‘You know you have to teach your girls to question things; it is a life skill.’…
The emotional and physical abuse started about a year after the wedding. Kavita was twenty-two. Her husband started hitting her after minor arguments. These arguments could have been about household chores, her opinions about the world, or how she dressed. It happened sporadically and every time it felt like it would probably not happen again. After the children were born, the violence became confined to their bedroom. The children sometimes glued their ears to the door and overheard echoes of aggressive arguments, something Kavita only discovered years later.
This excerpt has been published with permission.
About the Author Dr Nishtha Lamba is a mental health researcher and professor. She leads two labs in Social Psychology and Trauma, and has worked with vulnerable populations for over a decade. You can find her book at leading independent bookstores and online, including here.
Event listing: If you would like to join Dr Nishtha Lamba and Health Collective founder Amrita Tripathi for a live chat on Tuesday May 12, check out and scan the QR code to register.
